Sunday, May 29, 2011

The incredible shrinking woman!

It's been what seems forever since I updated. Things are still going strong. I've had a few rough patches, but nothing that made me want to quit, cuz I'm still losing!

Last night, I went thru my whole wardrobe and tried on every single item. Umm I dont have much left LOL Things that were once snug and tight are just too big!! It's amazing to see it like that! But what a shame that MOST of those clothes BARELY got worn!! Oh well, I can buy new CUTER clothes soon! My fav capres that are maybe a few months old are starting to get loose on me now too!

Other then this...Life is good.

Do or Die...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Man, O', MAN!!

I lost 2.4 pounds this week. THAT was surprising. Got a little off course and skipped a workout, but apparently Im doing something right! Im feeling really good about that loss and I cant wait to weight in NEXT week! 

It's so awesome to have so many friends and family rooting me on as I do this, because its hard. I want to quit everyday...For like 5 seconds and then I feel my fat ass bouncing like a bowl of jelly as I run LOL 

Not much else to report, Im feeling good right now. Every muscle is aching, but that just means its working LOL

Oh! And....we got a new whip :-)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I have no title because that's how I'm feeling...

It has NOT been a good week.

1. Being a woman sucks and I hate hormones!
2. Eating healthy is expensive.

Let's touch on the hormones part, shall we?
PMS is a son of a bitch and I want to rip my ovaries out for later use. She makes me crazy, and hungry, all the time. I blame PMS for my fattiness. (not really though)

I may end up having to sell my body on MLK to pay for my salad habit. Why does this shit cost so much?! I can get 2 salads out of one bag, that costs me almost $3.00. I eat salad twice a day, and thats just ME. If Barry decides to have one.MORE SALAD. And lets not forget cucumbers, red onions, and anything else you want on it. Fish- Wait a minute, the world is made up of mostly water (ya know, where fish live?) and I'm paying $20 for 6 SMALL salmon fillets? Awesome. It's just not a good week. How am I supposed to feed my family, and still keep it healthy enough so I can eat it, and not just this mini, skinny model sized portion? Cooking the way I used to and just "portion control" is not really an option here. Everything I made was fattening and high in calories.

Not to mention I missed 2 work outs this week. Today, I want to quit. But I'm not.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I gained this week...

But I don't really give a shit lol I worked out everyday, even our "day off" we took a nice long stroll. I ate right, even while going out to eat, I drink my water... I'm still a winner. It's a new week, its a new day.

We took Taaj to the park today. It's amazing the things I realized Ive never really done. We ran...literally...around the park, the track and field. I chased my son, up stairs, down slides, through bridges...Things Ive never been able..errr...WANTED to do. Ive missed years of opportunities because of my weight. Less because of being embarrassed, and more of just not being able to keep up without passing out! It's good be alive, and it's good to be on the right track now. Im just so glad I am doing it now, while Taaj is little and wont remember a mommy thats grossly obese, out of shape, unable to play with him the way a mother should. I never ever want to Taaj to be fat. I want being physically active to be a normal part of life for him, not like it was for me. We watched movies, played games and ate...and ate...and ate. By the time my mom realized I was fat, it was too late. I was already lazy by then. I never want him to struggle with weight like I have...Like I do. All the years Ive spent eating 2 double whoppers in one sitting, feeling insecure but faking like I wasnt, not doing things because I hated how everything looked on me, feeling sluggish. Do you know what it's like to be CONSTANTLY compared to your skinny friends? Being the "fat one". Being the buddy to your guy friends, but too fat to be a girlfriend. I laugh in their faces now. Cuz they can all kiss my fat ass! HaHa! There's a skinny bitch FIGHTING to get out now, and she will show her face in due time. And when she does, the world better watch out...cuz Im gonna wear really short shorts.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Every fattys dream...

The buffet....
But it's ok! I survived! I had shrimp cocktail (with almost no calories), TONS of veggies, and I only had a few cheat items but still didnt get silly with myself. Cuz lets be honest, whats like without a little enjoyment like that? All things in moderation, right?

Oh and I just have to share...My fortune cookie read, "Success is usually the fruit of patience" Nice huh?
However, my husband read, "Your relationship could be under stress, sit back and wait" Oh the irony...Let's just say today was not so good of a day :-)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Today I realized...

That I am really doing this. It's really becoming part of my life. Not just something I'm "doing". I wake up and I don't think about food as much. I enjoying our work outs and look forward to them...Mostly lol I've lost weight, which is a really awesome motivator. I'm very excited to see changes and where I will be in 6 months, a year...2 years.

I packed my minivan up today with Taaj's baby stuff. High chair, changing table, Einstein jumper, portable swing, infant car seat, toddler bed with mattress and some clothes....I figure, its going to be 2-3 years until we have more children, and by then I'll want new fancy stuff. Besides the fact its taking up A LOT of space in my home for no reason. So, off tomorrow they go for another child to enjoy. It's bittersweet. It makes me sad to see it all go, but I know I need to. Just makes it that more important that I get healthy.

Keep my eye on the prize...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Cuz quittin' ain't an option!

Today was awesome.

It did not however, start that way.

I woke up this am expect my blood sugar to be around 150-170 considering it was 203 right before I went to bed. How surprised was I was that shit was 274?! I was highly upset...Plus, I weighed myself. It wasnt weight in day. Stupid.

Had an AWESOME work-out today! I really humped it on our walk. Barry came with and we jogged...a lot. He's a great motivator plus he has a lot of good tips from when he was in the po-po academy. Then of course our walk was followed by doing Richard (tee-hee) with Bur. That was also equally awesome. Im also slowly but surely learning about calories, carbs, fat, BMI, BMR, etc...I have a headache now lol But its great knowledge that I am really putting to use.

My first small goal is to lose 50lb by my 30th birthday. Barry(July 9), myself(Sept 15) and my bff's(Sept 27) (Bur)'s husband all turn 30 this year, so we are having a Triple Dirty 30 party and we are gonna look HOT!!

That is all :-)

Monday, May 2, 2011

September 10th, 2001

Let me paint a picture (kinda like Sophia in Golden Girls...Which is my fav show btw):

Anywhere, USA September 10th, 2001-

I am 19 years old (about to turn 20), living in my first apartment with my then husband, a US Navy Sailor. We were stationed in Mayport Navel Station, Florida (Just outside Jacksonville) on board the the USS John F. Kennedy CV67 (I cant believe I remember that). Life was pretty good as I remember it. The economy was stable as it could be, gas was just over $1.00 a gallon, jobs were easy to find, the unemployment rate was only 4% and not almost 10% like it is now, we didn't worry about being felt up by TSA. you didn't need 153 documents to prove who you are, the USA PATRIOT Act was unheard of, you could shop at the off base commissary without heavily armed guards outside. We felt somewhat safe. 

September 11, 2001-

My husband leaves this morning for a 30 day deployment to gear up for the their 6 months Mediterranean cruise.

9:10am. I will never ever forget this moment in my life. My close friend calls, she's in hysterics. Something about a plane hitting the Twin Towers, don't know where our husbands ship is, people jumping. All the lines are clogged, I cant get a hold of my mom in Fort Myers. People are picking up their children because most of them are military families. I'm like a bot most of that day. Shock. Scared for my husbands safety. I don't think I heard a single word from him for about a week. They shut down email, phones, etc...They were half way across the world now, instead of just in the Atlantic.

Things instantly changed. You had to have 2 forms of ID to get onto base. They stopped every single car. You can tell things were so...tight, locked up on base. Most of the ships were gone. The world in it self seemed quiet, lost. It was very eerie the next morning. 

This is what I remember most about those days. 

Fast forward to today. Real Estate crash. Cape Coral has the highest foreclosures in the nation. There's no jobs. People that have spent thousands on education have degrees they cant even use. Stuck in jobs with no advancement  no raises, no moral. Stuck with student loans they cant pay. People losing their homes, crime goes up, poverty goes up and moral goes waaaaaaaay down.

My husband will graduate in 35 days with a Master's degree. A $40,000 education. He hasn't had a raise in 3 1/2 years. He also hasn't had a promotion. We are told their will be no raises until at LEAST 2013. They are raising our insurance premiums.  This happens everyday in this country. How are the everyday people like us supposed to make it? My husband did everything the way he was "supposed" to. He got an education, dedicated himself to his school work. It has gotten him no where. How long can we all hold on? Gas is nearly $4.00 a gallon. Milk is close behind at $3.00. Yet, our paychecks never grow. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing one day, when it gets better, all these men and women that have spent all this time getting degrees will be the first ones to land great jobs and opportunities. But until then, how do we keep our heads above water? How much can we "cut back"? It's so sad that THIS is what our children will have.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Let's make some goals!

So, every time I think about the end result of all this I get really excited. I want to make some long and short term goals...Here's some I like :-)

  • Go to any of those skinny bitch stores in the mall (5*7*9, Gap, American Eagle, Wet Seal, oh and of course Victoria's Secret) and get ANYTHING. I try it on, and it fits. I buy it. The end.
  • Run a half marathon next year. Totally gonna go it.
  • Learn how to do a cart wheel.
  • Get on a ride at a fair and not worry about squeezing in.
  • Sit in the back seat of a small car and be comfy.
  • Have a really cute preggo belly
  • Peirce my belly button
  • Get a tattoo on my side and butt lol
  • Ride a jet ski

Those are just some of em...Some are silly but I never realized how my weight as stopped me from doing SO much in life. Im just glad I can change all that now instead of it being too late when Im old.